Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
me + whiskey = a bad person
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Randomize
