Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
