First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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