I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
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