I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
