WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
