I feel like I'm in dance class right now
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Randomize
