do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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