I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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