Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Randomize