You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
