i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Of course I have a pirate flag
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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