No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
