ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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