if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Randomize
