she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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