I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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