So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Wtf am i supposed to tell my kids when they ask about my first time? "Mommy got drunk off her ass and fucked a total stranger in another stranger's bedroom, then got abandoned by the selfish prick and walk of shamed to the nearest gas station to call a cab, but ended up passed out in a park in a pool of her own puke."
At least mommy was smart enough to use protection and hack into the asshole's facebook account.
Well of course. Mommy may be a slutty drunk but she ain't no idiot.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Randomize
