You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Randomize
