You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
