According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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