Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Randomize
