Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Randomize
