I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Randomize
