she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
