i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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