dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
