I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Randomize
