Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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