Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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