paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Randomize
