I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
