if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
