i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
