I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
