My cat gives me a boner
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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