I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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