I skipped work to stalk him.
so let's talk penis.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Dicks are not precious.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Randomize
