toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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