mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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