the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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