It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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