What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
