I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
