no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
last night I used snow as a chaser
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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