I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Randomize
