My nipple is on Facebook.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
