Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
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