Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
