I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I think I am morally bankrupt
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
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