Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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